Believe it or not, there is life after parenting, divorce, illness and even death.
My mother is suffering from the debilitating effects of Parkinson’s. In her moments of discouragement, she wonders if she has done any good in the world. Her tears are hard for me to watch drop from her eyes.
Well, she has done one person in the world a whole bunch of good — ME!
Not to change the subject, but I fell in the pool the other day because I was more worried about the dead mouse in the pool than I was about watching where I was walking. I came up laughing at myself. (It would have made a great video.)
The point is that if my mother had fallen in the pool, she would have drown or been traumatized for life!!! She took swimming lessons as an adult, but she was so afraid of the water that we would all stand on the sidelines and breathe for her as she struggled to kick her feet and keep her head up.
My mother didn’t want that for me, so she made sure I learned how to swim.
Thank you, Mom!
And, that’s just ONE of the millions of things my mother did for me.
The problem is that when things get tough, you forget. We all forget. We forget anything good that we ever did when someone we love is upset with us. We forget any good they ever did when we are upset with them, too. We forget, go silent, go into our cave, and then….
We come out fighting! “Wait a minute! I do stuff for you!” or, “You can’t say that about me!”
This is followed with all the “yes, buts” and we are on way to a crash course in super-drama and all it’s side effects. It’s like watching a movie where you know it’s going to get a lot worse before it gets better.
Remember when I said that there was life after parenting, divorce, illness, and death? Well, there’s life after crashes in ALL our relationships.
And, it starts with you.
It starts with “I’m sorry.” It doesn’t matter what you apologize for, just think of something real, authentic, and from the heart. Get really brave and say you’re sorry for forgetting how much you care about the people you live with, work with, and live life with.
Never forget how important you are! You’re a VIP in your family!
My mother is going to die one day and I’m going to be very sad — probably sadder than I am now even though she is currently living in misery. She gave me more than SHE ever had and I wish I could return the favor directly back to her today.
But, I can’t.
I have to pay it forward. I have to live my life with so much passion and love that every breath I take will be celebrated by my children, my husband, and by all the people I love and serve.
You can do it. Take a deep breath, swallow your pride, and give them every drop of love you can muster up. It will all come back to you one day.
You’re worth it!